Sales rep tops global rich list after 'quite a good quarter'
Mike Wager has overtaken the world's richest man to become the wealthiest person alive, following a sales performance that economists are struggling to model.
The global rich list has a new name at the top, and it belongs to a man who until recently was best known for his lunch order.
Mike Wager, a salesperson at The Cyber Escape Room Co., has been declared the wealthiest individual on the planet after smashing his quarterly targets so comprehensively that analysts initially assumed the figures were a typo. He edges out the electric-car magnate who had held the top spot, a man with several rockets and considerably less commission.
“It was a solid quarter,” said Wager, in what observers are calling the understatement of the century. “The pipeline was strong. People kept saying yes. I stopped arguing with them.”
Colleagues describe the run as “frankly unnatural”. One recalled Wager closing a deal during a fire drill, in the car park, to a man he had never met. Another claims he sold an annual contract to someone who had only come in to ask for directions.
Economists warn the figure may be unstable, given that it appears to rest entirely on one man refusing to hear the word “maybe”. The world's markets are watching. So is the finance team, who would like a word about his expenses.
Wager remains modest about the achievement and says the money will not change him, before adding that he has bought the office a slightly nicer kettle.